Setting Boundaries in Today's Workplace: The 3 C's Framework

In this episode, we're diving into workplace boundaries - a crucial topic whether you're in-office, remote, or hybrid. Learn a robust framework for setting boundaries while maintaining high performance. 

Key points: 

• How to navigate today's dynamic workplace with purpose and sanity.
• How leveraging your skills, strengths, and values aids you in setting boundaries
• Practical application and mindset tips

Chapters

• 0:00 Workplace Boundaries and Professional Well-Being
• 11:46 Creating Clear Boundaries With Confidence

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey, this is Jill Griffin and I'm the host of the Career Refresh podcast. Thanks for being here. Today. I want to dive into workplace boundaries. This is something that comes up all the time and it's a crucial topic whether you are going into the office, you're a remote worker or you have some sort of hybrid arrangement. Over the years, I've developed a framework that I call the three C's, and that's the clarity, certainty and confidence, and today we're going to explore how you can maintain your impact while preserving your overall well-being. Ready, let's jump in.

Speaker 1: 0:42

Today, I'm sharing a framework that I developed from thinking about professional boundaries over the years, and I'm also going to give you a few tried and true tips that I have found that help you continue to drive impact while maintaining your sanity. Velocity, we know, is one of the biggest threats to business, and it's even a bigger threat to your well-being and your professional performance if you don't know how to manage your brain through all of this constant change. A boundary is something you set for yourself, whether it's something that's mental, whether it's a physical boundary right, it's something you set for yourself, and when you're setting it, you need to think about what are the clear non-negotiables that show up around your work. That's creating the clarity. The first C. So I want to think about you know, what do you need around your well-being? This is beyond self-care. We're not talking bubble baths and massages here, although I'm a fan of both. We're talking like what do you really need from exercise, from your day? When are you starting your day? When are you ending your day? When are you starting your day? When are you ending your day? How are you taking care of your overall health and your nutrition needs? Right, it's looking at your full well-being, so that you're really building a strong foundation when you're identifying your non-negotiables.

Speaker 1: 1:56

I also want you to think about the free time that you have, whether that is with your family, your friends. How are you spending that? And I know it may sound really, really like time management-y, but that's what you need to do Be looking at your week and deciding. Okay, in order to get the enough exercise I need and the sleep I need, I'm going to go out two times this week or I'm going to. You know, I have that thing at my child's school and I also have a client dinner. How are you balancing it so that you're always looking at things in advance? You're creating that clarity and you're thinking about the exchange and the trade-offs for any of the decisions you made. I also want you to think about clear shutdown times. Your work is not a hobby. I get that, but still, when are you working and when are you not working? And how are you creating that clear time Even in your head?

Speaker 1: 2:49

What I find that I hear from so many clients is that on the days that they are working from home, that they can work a much longer day with limited breaks, and that's what I want you to get clear on. Are you working in 90-minute sprints? Are you taking a walk midday to get some fresh air so that you're not just sitting at your desk all day? Strategic time blocking kind of falls into that too, where I know from my brain, I think much better in the morning and the earlier part of the day, so that is the time that I need to apply to strategy, whereas the second half of the day I can be potentially listening in a meeting, but I can't necessarily be running it, because it's harder for me, because I'm exhausted and my brain tends to perform better in the day. Again, I get it, it's work. We don't always have full control of our calendars but where you can start doing those things or create team agreements like hey, on Wednesday, let's use the morning part so that we're getting work done and we can have a team meeting or a team conversation or a client conversation later in the afternoon. That's what we're talking about. I want you to remember that. Saying no and I don't want you to be the no monster this is not about saying no to everything, but when you're saying no to something, you're saying yes to something else, and understanding that exchange and finding ways that you can really be intentional with this is going to help you overall. Choose that temporary discomfort over long-term frustration. So that's clarity.

Speaker 1: 4:19

The second C is certainty, and there's really nothing certain beyond what you think about yourself or what you think about your thoughts. Right, we're managing uncertain times and we're always in some level of uncertainty. So when you want to manage certainty and I'm going to tell you again, you can't manage the circumstance of uncertainty you can only manage your thoughts, your opinions and the way you approach things. First thing I'm going to tell you always is separate story from fact. I am the first one. On a bad day, If I am hungry, angry, lonely, tired, I call it halt If I am in that. Oh man, I can be running with a story and then telling you what will happen next in my head and then he's going to say this and she's going to do that and I can run with that and I always have to giggle like I'm a student of my work. It still happens. At times I can just slow it down and get it back into first gear and out of fifth gear quite quickly. So separating the story from fact, the exact words of someone said.

Speaker 1: 5:20

Also thinking about the expectations Are they real expectations or are they what you think the expectations are supposed to be? Really? Thinking that through and managing your thoughts is constant. You always are looking at what you're thinking and seeing if it's really true. Is this helpful, or is this true but partial? Or is this true but not not helpful? So you're not going to spend your energy there. The other thing that creates certainty is getting clear in your career strategy and your career identity. This is your skills, your strengths, your values and what you believe about the contribution that you're making to a team or a department or to your business. When you're super clear and you're able to articulate strengths, skills, values in a clear and certain way, in a way in which the person you're talking to knows how to take that information and run with it. That is also how you're creating certainty for yourself, so that you're able to know who you are, versus just reacting to how someone might be speaking to you or the task that they're asking you to do. Right, you're able to respond versus react.

Speaker 1: 6:33

The third C is confidence. We're going to separate confidence from confidence to self-confidence. Let's talk about confidence first. Can I say the word confidence more times confidence? Let's talk about confidence first. Can I say the word confidence more times? All, right, building confidence comes from a previous experience, that you've done something before and you can do it again. And then you might be thinking but Jill, I haven't done this thing before, I haven't done this, so how do I know? And that's when I say to you right, but you've been in situations before where you didn't know what you didn't know and you were able to rely on your skills, your strengths, your values, your quick thinking, all of those things to be able to show up and create a result that was positive. Right, that's confidence. It's building on your previous experience.

Speaker 1: 7:17

Self-confidence is knowing how to manage your emotions effectively, to be able to be confident on yourself emotionally so that you can move forward. So here's an example of that. I do this work for a living. I'm a student of the work. I've been in this work I don't know wallowing around in it for like 30, some odd years and I still can find moments in which I can pick up a thought which creates a negative feeling in my body or a negative emotion, and I am rolling around in that thought, I am holding on to it, I want it to be true, even though I don't want it to be true. And then I'm running through the cast of characters and who's going to say what? And blah, blah, blah. So the victory today is that, while this is still draining it could be a few minutes versus hours or days I'm able to manage my mind and know that I'm having a thought that's creating a negative sensation or a negative a trigger in my body. So self-confidence is knowing that I can get myself out of that, knowing it's like think about a child we talk about like being able to self-soothe. Right, children don't necessarily know how to self-soothe. It takes the caretakers in their life to teach them how to self-soothe. That's what you're doing. You're like, oh wow, this is a trigger for me. He said that thing. I'm feeling a way and I want to stay professional, but I also want to you know respond in a way that's probably not professional.

Speaker 1: 8:44

So this is where, depending on your situation or your environment, you know, can you go to the bathroom and take a pause in the bathroom stall, can you hide your camera? Can you may have your next meeting be off calendar calendar. Can you have your next meeting being off camera? Can you take a pause? And if you're working in a place where you can get outside, can you go for a walk around the block, right? That's the way that we process the emotion. We get those neurochemicals that are creating that sensation moving out of our body and then we're able to think again because we cannot be in the negative emotion and also be strategic. So that is how we process an emotion, so that we can get back and build our self-confidence, knowing that we can dig ourselves out of the hole, so to speak. And then the next is adopting a gross mindset, right?

Speaker 1: 9:32

This is where, let's say, you want to get on a nonprofit board, a board of directors, and your brain is saying to you I really want to serve on that nonprofit board, a board of directors, and your brain is saying to you I really want to serve on that board. It would be great for my career, it would be great because I'm aligned with that particular organization and the work they're doing. I want to make an impact. But then there's the other side of you, that's like they're never going to choose me. I don't have that particular experience. I know they're going to want someone who is able to do A, b and C, but I can only do A and C. Right that? You're in that place where you're processing a lot of energy but you don't necessarily have any new information.

Speaker 1: 10:10

So this is where you'll want to be finding a way to pause yourself, like realize that you're doing this, that it's like the runaway car, realize that you're doing this, that it's like the runaway car, realize that you're doing this. And I want you to find neutral thoughts that are also true, thoughts that you can believe, right? So if you're sitting there saying they're never going to pick me for the board and you're also saying, but it's possible they could pick me for the board, you're in the between those two. Where can you go? In the center. I know how to contribute to this board. I know I can add value. Those are true statements.

Speaker 1: 10:46

So when you're in sort of that ping pong of two contrasting views, trying to find something neutral, that's not about getting the position, that's about being clear on where you can contribute. It stops the the running, the running of your brain to be like right, and that's what we want to stop. So in recapping short and sweet the three Cs, create clarity, define your non-negotiables, define your boundaries, get clear in them so that you're clear in advance that you're not reacting, you are responding. Second, certainty always leaning on the facts and being clear in the value, the skills. Always leaning on the facts and being clear in the value, the skills, the strengths that you bring to a table and being able to articulate them in a narrative and a storytelling way. That is where you create certainty with yourself first, and then there's a higher chance of the person who's hearing you or reading what you're writing is also able to believe that you possess those skills. You're grounding yourself in facts and your identity. And then the last C is that confidence. You are building it through known experience.

Speaker 1: 11:46

Maybe you need to make a list of your victory laps so that you have them ready and available to you and, at the same time, you need to not let your brain wander away with lots of negative thoughts and bring it back, bring it back, bring it back, bring it back, bring it back to a place where you can find the neutral sentence and remember creating the boundary is not just about knowing what you're going to say and when you're going to say it. It's about managing your thoughts so that, when you approach the conversations and set those boundaries, you can do it with clarity and confidence. All right, friends, as always, I want to hear from you. Tell me your thoughts. How are you setting boundaries? Have you had any sticky boundary conversations lately? I would love to hear about them and talk to you about those. Send me an email at hello at jillgriffincoachingcom. All right, friends, have a beautiful week and I will see you soon.