Managing Professional Disappointment

Let's talk about something we all face in our careers: disappointment. Even when we're hitting our stride with recent wins, we're still human – and that means we sometimes need to work through setbacks consciously and carefully. In this episode, we talk about: 

• Why managing professional disappointment is essential for growth
• Learn how to reset expectations, evaluate setbacks, and practice self-compassion. 
• How working through disappointment builds your resilience and reduces burnout

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Hey , this is Jill Griffin , the host of the Career Refresh podcast . Welcome back . Today . I want to talk about something we all face in our careers disappointment . And even if we're hitting our stride with recent wins , we're human and that means that sometimes we need to work through setbacks consciously and carefully . All right , let's jump in .

Speaker 1 0:33

I was recently speaking with a client who felt stuck because of a past professional disappointment , and if you're wondering how professionals handle disappointment , I'm going to share with you what I've seen over the years . They evaluate it , they process it and they move forward . And if you're finding it hard to let go of that disappointment , you're not alone . Sometimes we just need a little guidance to help us get unstuck . So professional disappointment comes in many forms . Right , there's the promising opportunity that didn't materialize . There is a colleague or client or executive leaders , unexpected actions or lack of actions . It could be our own decisions , that we took a gamble or a risk and it didn't play out as we had hoped . The key to managing these situations lies in how we handle our mindset and our expectations . I want to share a personal example . I recently had an experience in a professional relationship with a business partner that wasn't meeting my expectations and after I had paid money to work through this experience with them , I was really wondering why what I was receiving was very different than what I had thought . And after much reflection , I realized that I was doing what we often call it's very clinical going to the hardware store for milk . Clinical going to the hardware store for milk . I was expecting them to do something that was never actually promised , and I assumed , because I had seen this partner delivering that same service to others . But they never promised that to me . I just assumed that I would receive the same level of high touch , high care for the same investment . Now you might be listening to this and going well , jill , of course , but that's not what my contract or my agreement said . The crucial part is that , because it wasn't explicitly agreed upon , I was chasing the idea of what the partnership could be rather than what it actually was .

Speaker 1 2:39

As leaders , sometimes we handle disappointment in ways that limits our growth . Leaders , sometimes we handle disappointment in ways that limits our growth . We either set the bar so low to avoid failure , or we stay small out of fear of rejection or that imposter syndrome , or we get stuck in perfectionism , never actually completing a project , out of fear of criticism so ready . These are the strategies that I have found , both for myself , my clients and my years of studying and mindset and professional development , that will help you move through this disappointment . The first is we have to reset our expectations . I've said it before . It's separate the stories from fact . If you have a contract , it's looking at the contract I'm saying that more to myself than I am to you and it's focusing on what's actually in writing , what was agreed upon and what is objectively true . You may still feel the disappointment , but you'll start to realize that you were in a little bit of delusional . It gives you an opportunity , moving forward , to really look at what's in writing or to get it in writing , and to decide , moving forward , where you need to negotiate from a place of clarity , where you're going to let something go , or how you want to manage the overall partnership . It's moving forward based in reality than assumptions . The next is that evaluation . This is really taking time and I'm going to tell you again I want pen to paper . This is what actually happened , what worked , what didn't work , what you would do differently and how you will redirect your energy moving forward . Write it down . That act of putting it on paper helps your brain to process and learn from the experience more effectively . So the next time you're in that experience , your brain is able to borrow from itself and correct course where needed .

Speaker 1 4:36

The next I want you to monitor your thought patterns . When you're in a partnership or you're finding that a deal with a client or a contract or whatever it is that you're working on the initiative , you're feeling like it's sort of not going as you had planned . I want you to take a few minutes on those mornings . I mean , I would love you to do this every day , but I really want you to take some time on those mornings and really think through the situation . Ask yourself are these thoughts helping me move forward ? Or is it like bringing a trash bag to the office every day Because I'm thinking all of these thoughts ? Are there alternative points of view or perspectives ? Are there a different opinions that you admire or respect that you want to get in ? And it would be more productive to weigh in versus just thinking your own thoughts Just because you think it doesn't mean it's true , I mean , sometimes it is , but sometimes it's not , friends .

Speaker 1 5:37

Next , I want you to practice self-compassion . There's a quote by Brene Brown that she says if we want to move forward , with the difficult disappointments , the hurt feelings and the heartbreaks inevitable in a fully lived life , we can't equate defeat with being unworthy of love , belonging and joy . I didn't say romantic partner or friend , because sometimes we offer them kindness and sometimes we're so inside the jar that we can't read the label and we're all frothy and we're like spinning out on everyone . But I would never speak to my dog or pet in a way that would be unkind . So , practicing that compassion , this isn't just feel good advice . This is when we're in a space where we're thinking clearly , we provide ourselves a beat to pause and a practical strategy for maintaining resilience in your career .

Speaker 1 6:37

If not , you are going to get burnt out and I've done episodes on different angles of burnouts and you can check them or I'll drop them in the show notes . But you need to practice that self-compassion and moving forward . Just know that professional disappointment , career disappointment , is totally normal and it's a sign that you're pushing boundaries and taking worthwhile risks . The goal isn't about avoiding disappointment , which is going to keep you small . It's about entirely processing it to make sure that you're using it and building up your resistance . All right , friends , I want to hear from you how are you moving past disappointments ? How have you moved past them in the past ? Email me hello at jillgriffincoachingcom . I want to know what sets them apart in your life as notable and what actions you've taken to learn and adapt and keep moving forward . I appreciate you so much . Thanks for being here . Have a beautiful week and I'll see you next time .