Managing Professional Disappointment

Let's talk about something we all face in our careers: disappointment. Even when we're hitting our stride with recent wins, we're still human – and that means we sometimes need to work through setbacks consciously and carefully. In this episode, we talk about: 

• Why managing professional disappointment is essential for growth
• Learn how to reset expectations, evaluate setbacks, and practice self-compassion. 
• How working through disappointment builds your resilience and reduces burnout

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey, this is Jill Griffin, the host of the Career Refresh podcast. Welcome back. Today. I want to talk about something we all face in our careers disappointment. And even if we're hitting our stride with recent wins, we're human and that means that sometimes we need to work through setbacks consciously and carefully. All right, let's jump in.

Speaker 1: 0:33

I was recently speaking with a client who felt stuck because of a past professional disappointment, and if you're wondering how professionals handle disappointment, I'm going to share with you what I've seen over the years. They evaluate it, they process it and they move forward. And if you're finding it hard to let go of that disappointment, you're not alone. Sometimes we just need a little guidance to help us get unstuck. So professional disappointment comes in many forms. Right, there's the promising opportunity that didn't materialize. There is a colleague or client or executive leaders, unexpected actions or lack of actions. It could be our own decisions, that we took a gamble or a risk and it didn't play out as we had hoped. The key to managing these situations lies in how we handle our mindset and our expectations. I want to share a personal example. I recently had an experience in a professional relationship with a business partner that wasn't meeting my expectations and after I had paid money to work through this experience with them, I was really wondering why what I was receiving was very different than what I had thought. And after much reflection, I realized that I was doing what we often call it's very clinical going to the hardware store for milk. Clinical going to the hardware store for milk. I was expecting them to do something that was never actually promised, and I assumed, because I had seen this partner delivering that same service to others. But they never promised that to me. I just assumed that I would receive the same level of high touch, high care for the same investment. Now you might be listening to this and going well, jill, of course, but that's not what my contract or my agreement said. The crucial part is that, because it wasn't explicitly agreed upon, I was chasing the idea of what the partnership could be rather than what it actually was.

Speaker 1: 2:39

As leaders, sometimes we handle disappointment in ways that limits our growth. Leaders, sometimes we handle disappointment in ways that limits our growth. We either set the bar so low to avoid failure, or we stay small out of fear of rejection or that imposter syndrome, or we get stuck in perfectionism, never actually completing a project, out of fear of criticism so ready. These are the strategies that I have found, both for myself, my clients and my years of studying and mindset and professional development, that will help you move through this disappointment. The first is we have to reset our expectations. I've said it before. It's separate the stories from fact. If you have a contract, it's looking at the contract I'm saying that more to myself than I am to you and it's focusing on what's actually in writing, what was agreed upon and what is objectively true. You may still feel the disappointment, but you'll start to realize that you were in a little bit of delusional. It gives you an opportunity, moving forward, to really look at what's in writing or to get it in writing, and to decide, moving forward, where you need to negotiate from a place of clarity, where you're going to let something go, or how you want to manage the overall partnership. It's moving forward based in reality than assumptions. The next is that evaluation. This is really taking time and I'm going to tell you again I want pen to paper. This is what actually happened, what worked, what didn't work, what you would do differently and how you will redirect your energy moving forward. Write it down. That act of putting it on paper helps your brain to process and learn from the experience more effectively. So the next time you're in that experience, your brain is able to borrow from itself and correct course where needed.

Speaker 1: 4:36

The next I want you to monitor your thought patterns. When you're in a partnership or you're finding that a deal with a client or a contract or whatever it is that you're working on the initiative, you're feeling like it's sort of not going as you had planned. I want you to take a few minutes on those mornings. I mean, I would love you to do this every day, but I really want you to take some time on those mornings and really think through the situation. Ask yourself are these thoughts helping me move forward? Or is it like bringing a trash bag to the office every day Because I'm thinking all of these thoughts? Are there alternative points of view or perspectives? Are there a different opinions that you admire or respect that you want to get in? And it would be more productive to weigh in versus just thinking your own thoughts Just because you think it doesn't mean it's true, I mean, sometimes it is, but sometimes it's not, friends.

Speaker 1: 5:37

Next, I want you to practice self-compassion. There's a quote by Brene Brown that she says if we want to move forward, with the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings and the heartbreaks inevitable in a fully lived life, we can't equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging and joy. I didn't say romantic partner or friend, because sometimes we offer them kindness and sometimes we're so inside the jar that we can't read the label and we're all frothy and we're like spinning out on everyone. But I would never speak to my dog or pet in a way that would be unkind. So, practicing that compassion, this isn't just feel good advice. This is when we're in a space where we're thinking clearly, we provide ourselves a beat to pause and a practical strategy for maintaining resilience in your career.

Speaker 1: 6:37

If not, you are going to get burnt out and I've done episodes on different angles of burnouts and you can check them or I'll drop them in the show notes. But you need to practice that self-compassion and moving forward. Just know that professional disappointment, career disappointment, is totally normal and it's a sign that you're pushing boundaries and taking worthwhile risks. The goal isn't about avoiding disappointment, which is going to keep you small. It's about entirely processing it to make sure that you're using it and building up your resistance. All right, friends, I want to hear from you how are you moving past disappointments? How have you moved past them in the past? Email me hello at jillgriffincoachingcom. I want to know what sets them apart in your life as notable and what actions you've taken to learn and adapt and keep moving forward. I appreciate you so much. Thanks for being here. Have a beautiful week and I'll see you next time.