Networking When You’re Unclear (And a Little Freaked Out)

Feeling awkward about networking? You’re not alone. In this episode, I’ll show you how to reach out with clarity, confidence, and strategy—without feeling like you’re begging for help. In this episode: 

• Why networking isn’t about the “perfect ask”—it’s about being a decent human.
• The secret incentive no one tells you about: referral bonuses.
• One ask. One click. One shot (but not in the way you think).

Chapters

• 0:00 Overcoming networking anxieties
• 1:40 Creating win-win networking opportunities
• 3:50 Crafting clear value propositions
• 6:00 Tracking your networking metrics
• 8:30 One ask, one outcome approach
• 10:50 Reciprocity in networking relationships
• 13:10 Making it easy for people to help

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey friends, this is Jill Griffin, the host of the Career Refresh, and I welcome you back. Today we are talking about something that makes even the most accomplished professionals at times squirm, and it's networking. And it's networking when you're not totally clear on what you want and you're really in this place of like. I only have one shot. I don't want to screw it up, and you're really in this place of like. I only have one shot. I don't want to screw it up. And I find that the more successful you are and the more senior you are, the more story you tend to tell yourself about I've got one shot and I got to make it right. So if you're falling into the thought of you know what I just don't want to bother them, why would they respond to me Then this episode is for you and I'm going to break this down into a super smart, simple strategy. Ready, let's dig in? Okay, first I want to start with that pressure cooker thought. I only have one shot. What am I going to say?

Speaker 1: 1:05

This mindset makes networking feel like an audition instead of a conversation, and if someone emailed or called you asking you for advice or support, if you were thoughtful about it, would you help them? I'm going to guess. Yes, right, reciprocity is a real thing and it's fueled by good intentions and clear asks. So I'm going to just ask you to pause and stop that thought track in your head that keeps going over and over and think about you know what? What would I say if someone called me? How would I support them? Right, no one's saying that you're going to do tons of work, but the bare minimum. What would you do? That's the least case scenario. And in the best case scenario, let's think that through this, networking works when you believe the person on the other side wants to help, not because they owe you, but because they like being helpful. And if you make it easy, that's the key here that's where they're able to help you.

Speaker 1: 2:11

So first I want you to think about most companies pay their employees referral bonuses. So it's almost think about it from the other side. Them introducing you to someone at their company actually puts some bucks in their pocket, right? So if they refer someone, they get hired. And when I worked in corporate, we would often ask our employees and say you are the best people to refer. You know what this company is like. You know who would be a great add to our team and we would want our employees to be bringing us in their former colleagues or the people that they know. That would be the right you know again, that right add to the team. So reaching out to people potentially is putting dollars in their pocket. They don't have to love you, they have to believe in your skills and the value that you would bring to the company. But there's an opportunity here that is a win-win. There's an opportunity for them too.

Speaker 1: 3:08

All right, the next thing that I'm seeing is people posting these. It's a lot of it on LinkedIn. That's like I only I've been out of work X months or I only have X dollars left and listen, I'm with I, like my heart goes after those people. Listen, I'm with I, like my heart goes after those people. I will definitely like and comment for reach, but the flip side of it is it's not actionable. It drives compassion, it drives engagement and I guess the thought process here is there's enough engagement, the right person will see, but you're focusing on what is negative or what's going on for you, and that you're in this more of this desperate mode versus the value or the value proposition that you could bring to a company. So I want you to think before you again. If you see a post like that and it feels right for you, boost it, comment on it. All good, I'm not telling you to not do it, I'm saying for you yourself, though I'd rather see you put a post out there that says hey, I'm in the market, this is what I'm really good at, this is what I want to do. Who can contribute? Who can introduce me? I'd rather you be in the proactive of what you can bring to a table versus talking about it. Relax, I always make the joke of like we don't say this toy doesn't come with batteries. We say batteries not included. Right, put it in the positive of what's not there.

Speaker 1: 4:31

So, honing, that message might look like hey, I'm looking for work, and here are the three ways that I could bring value to your team. Or here's how I've made impact in my past roles. Or here's a little case study. Again, you have to make sure that you're allowed to talk about it and there's nothing that's in your severance agreement. If you've been laid off or if you're just looking for next work, there's anything that's going to put you in a sticky situation because you're talking about confidential pieces. But there's always a way to write a case study, even if you can't talk about it confidentially. Right? You can say major consumer goods brand. You could say package, you know a product in the automotive space. You don't have to say who you actually worked for. Right, make it easy for people to connect the dots and see the value you could bring.

Speaker 1: 5:11

And then I want to talk about your talk track right, when you're telling yourself it's not working. It's not working. And I'm hearing a lot of those jobs don't actually exist. And I'm hearing a lot of those jobs don't actually exist. They're contingency recruiters putting out sort of dummy jobs to get the candidates so that they can go then sell to companies and say look, I have candidates that you need. There's a big difference between a contingency recruiter and a strategic or contracted recruiter. I'm not saying don't work with one or the other, but your best bet is working for people that have the assignment versus people who are fishing for the assignment. All right.

Speaker 1: 5:53

So next question is let's talk about your numbers. You might want to say it's not working and I'm going to say to you what are your numbers? How, what are you tracking? How many emails have you sent? How many responses have you received Calls booked? Where do those contacts and those connections come from? What strategy do you use? Are you creating content on LinkedIn? Are you posting on subtext, showing thought leadership, putting something out there on Medium, participating in conversations? Where can you also look to raise your profile, in addition to measuring your numbers? Because when you're slogging away and applying to job after job on LinkedIn, it's really really hard to break through.

Speaker 1: 6:39

And going back to the previous point about networking and the value you create and what you can bring, networking is a series of conversation. It's not something that's going to happen overnight. You know, I tell all of my private clients that this is relationship building and you should be doing this for your career, because right now you might be looking for a connection or an opportunity. Another time you might want to talk to a peer in the industry to talk about what you're seeing and to share industry knowledge, again appropriately within the confines of your employment agreement. But if you're not creating those relationships now, needing them when you're desperate is really hard. It starts to feel really gross and graspy and I've said this before. I know myself and many others made it through COVID and the shutdowns and the what's going on unemployment, who's employed, what's happening, who's hiring. Because I had a 30-year network to tap into so I was able to stay inspired and innovated and hear good stories happening out there because of my network. So I want you to track. You're not guessing, you are measuring. And because when you're saying like, oh, I put a lot of things out there or you know what, I don't think I'm going to be the candidate, Well, I want you to know, based on what, what did they say and what did you say that you don't think you're going to be the candidate? I want you to capture that right. So the next one I want you to think is I what?

Speaker 1: 7:58

I hear people pushing that they're trying to ask for a connection and they're like, hey, you know, I really like to get into your company. Do you have 30 minutes to talk? And it's like, oh, dude, way to get me to not answer you. So it's. I want you to think about when you make a connection. Ask for one thing. Do you want an intro? Great, stay that. Do you want to have a connection to the hiring manager? Ask for that, be clear One ask, one outcome. And, while you're at it, make it a really low effort. Ask, don't make them dig around.

Speaker 1: 8:33

I can't tell you the amount of people that will email me or DM me through LinkedIn and say, hey, I'm looking for a job in this, can you help me? And it's like I want to help everyone, but I also have a business to run and a mortgage to pay. So write the email for me, get clear, get specific. What are you asking for? What's the value you bring? And then I will take what you've written and put it into, like Jillism, I'll put it into my own words and I will introduce you to people.

Speaker 1: 8:59

But you got to do the heavy lifting. Don't make me do the heavy lifting, because if you're waiting for that I'm with clients most of the day the speed in which you're going to get to reply or network with that person is going to be really slow, and I've just gotten to the point where everybody who calls to say can I pick your brain? You got to be more specific than that, and I hear the same thing for others that are in the space of hiring or in networking. You're not picking my brain. You're coming with one ask and you're getting super clear on the value that you're bringing to the organization, the challenge or the issue right. So have another way you can do it is have an executive summary written, have a networking resume written, have it ready as a doc. So if you're sending it to someone and saying, can you introduce me, you are giving them words for them to be able to describe what you're doing and not have to figure it out themselves.

Speaker 1: 9:51

If you tell me you want a role in sales, that could not be more vague what kind of sales Do you want? B2b, b2c? Do you want enterprise? What are we talking about? If I now have to go back and ask you all those questions, well, there's four more people in the queue who have asked to be networked in with somebody who have already answered those questions. Guess what we're going to put our power and our effort against the people who have made it easy to get it moving, get it done, get it connected, who have made it easy to like get it, get it moving, get it done, get it connected.

Speaker 1: 10:22

Also, thinking about what are the bullet points, the beats that you would love them to hit on the intro talking about. You know you were the person who ran that project or you were the person who increased revenue by that percent, any of those kinds of things, those braggable points assuming they are with integrity and true are the other things you want to do. And make sure that you are doing the heavy lifting, not the person you're asking to connect you or make the networking with. Now I always say it's like a whiff, what's in it for them? You have to be asking yourself how are you doing this to make it easy for them, make it kind, make it valuable? Is there something you can do in return? Did you notice that they're trying to hire interns for the summer program? Can you offer them an intern? What can you do in return and then follow up Again.

Speaker 1: 11:05

This is about reciprocity and this is about building relationships and the people who I just know throughout my career, the people who are in reciprocity I have great, consistent, long-term relationships the people who only call me or text me when they need something. It's a little harder, right, because at a certain point it's like the vampires are searching and circling and it's hard to keep. You know someone who's constantly a connector. It's hard to keep giving when you make it hard for me and you're only coming for an ask and you're not in reciprocity. And then, last, I want you to get super crisp with the questions you're asking. So whether, when you send somebody a note, if your approach is, hey, can I grab 30 minutes of your time, again I'm going to say to you, hey, can I ask you three questions, or can I ask you two questions, or can I ask you one question? Again, super quick and crisp, easy.

Speaker 1: 11:57

Now for me personally, I'm going to want to respond to you in a voice note or I'm going to want to respond to you through a loom video. I'm not going to want to respond in email, but I know that many people will respond in email and I just feel as a coach, especially with it as a career strategist the nuance can sometimes get lost. So I want you to hear my voice as I'm responding to you, and also sometimes it's just hard for me to like interpret your question and then figure out what you're answering. So it's much easier for me to leave a voice memo. Not everyone's going to do that.

Speaker 1: 12:26

So if you are asking someone that one question, or if it is three questions, they're connected in their layer and they're not all over the place. We're not asking somebody to write you back a dissertation. It's find it quick and make it easy, so that someone who's responding to you has a chance to just pound it off and be efficient. We're not hiring until later summer. Great, now you have an answer. Keep it quick.

Speaker 1: 12:51

So, in recap, think reciprocity, not rejection, be clear, be kind and be specific in your ask. And then, lastly, is do that prep. Track the progress, measure your results and don't make it hard for people to help you. Networking isn't about performance, it's just people talking to people, and when you lead with clarity, the best intent, you would be surprised at how many people want to see you win, because they also know someday they may be in the same spot and we want to do good and sort of pay it forward. Listen, if you found this information helpful, I want to know. If you have questions, I want to know. Email me at hello at jillgriffincoachingcom, and I will get those questions and those answers back to you. All right, friends, until next week, embrace possibility. It is possible that you can make a new networking connection this week. Be intentional, be inspired and always, always, always, be kind. All right, I will see you soon. Bye.